Since I am thinking about the ridiculous today, just a word to let you know that if you aren't following the Carlos Tevez transfer affair, you are missing out not only a completely bizarre story, but one that essentially sums up everything that is wrong with football. Just look at the Tevez story over the past year:
* Tevez and pal Javier Mascherano are transfered to West Ham. Almost certainly illegally. Mascherano is later loaned the same season (again, almost certainly illegally) to Liverpool, helping them to the final of the Champions League. West Ham looks like fools for letting him go. Meanwhile, West Ham stays up thanks to the admittedly awesome play of Tevez. Sheffield United, playing by the rules, go down. (See the When Saturday Comes cover for a clearer explanation if this is confusing.)
* Tevez announces after the season that he loves playing for West Ham.
* A few weeks later, Tevez announces (through intermediaries) he would love to play for Inter Milan. Milan is very interested, and then backs off. Noises are made about Tevez going to Spain.
* Tevez once again opens negotiations with West Ham. The team announces the two sides are "close."
* Out of nowhere, Tevez and agent announce he will be loaned out to Manchester United. West Ham denies this. Hilarity ensues. No one, even respected journalists, seem to understand why West Ham would loan Tevez to ManU.
* When West Ham begins to stall, Tevez's "representative" Kia Joorabchian announces he will essentially release the details of Tevez's contract to the public if the loan isn't approved. The implicit threat is that EVERYONE (Tevez, West Ham, Manchester, the Premiership, FIFA, England, and God's Green Earth) will all be embarrassed and in trouble if details of the contract get out. Suddenly West Ham knocks it off with the threats.
* Newshounds break the story that Kia Joorabchian is a wanted man in South America.
Great. Anyway, it looks like Tevez will sign with Manchester next week, and he will probably be awesome. And a little piece of football fan's souls everywhere will die.